There are some things you just don't hear very often on a college campus. The following is a conversation I heard yesterday as I was walking to my advisor's office for my appointment (G1 = girl 1, G2 = girl 2. Sorry if this in insulting to your intelligence):

G1: (approaches G2 with a huge smile) Hi!
G2: Hey! What's up?
G1: I love changing majors!
G2: What? You changed it again?
G1: Yep.
G2: What to?
G1: Art.
G2: Wow, that's a big change from your last one. What was it, elementary education?
G1: Yeah.

I wanted to throw a rock or something at her. Yeah, she'll love herself for changing her major (AGAIN, apparently) when she is 24 and still in college. I really hope I'm not still in college when I'm 24! I think I'll probably have to be a fifth year senior, though, because I was looking at my schedules and trying to figure out when to take what classes: there is no way I can do both of my majors plus a minor plus all the freaking gen eds and be out of here in 4 years. It's just not going to happen. But that's ok, I guess. No shame in taking 5 years, right? But at least I know what my degree is, and unless I suddenly decide to follow through on my whims of switching to pre-med and transferring to IU, I won't still be in school when I'm 24. Phew.

Yesterday was so hectic. I was supposed to go register for classes, which is why I suddenly seem so concerned about graduation dates. :) Allow me to relate my events of the day: class, chapel, class, wait in line at Records Office, register, find out one of my classes is closed and one of my classes was switched to a night class, go to Dr. Springer's office to get my newest schedule approved (since one class was closed and I needed to add another one), walk back to Records to add the 2 new classes, was told I couldn't register for them b/c I didn't have Springer sgin the official Drop/Add form (and when I asked him earlier if he had to sign anything, he said no. grr.), walked back to Springer's office, wait for him to finish up with another student, had him sign the stupid piece of paper, walk back to Records and re-register, look at my schedule and realize that I will have to go back sometime this week to drop my Wednesday night class (which was a suprise night class), walk back to my room and want to crawl into bed. But I didn't.

So, my schedule for next semester is nothing how I originally wanted it to be, meaning I have class on MWF, not just TR. R = Thursday, by the way. My SOC 225 class (cultural anthropology) was the one that was changed to a night class, which is crap b/c on the handbooks they gave us it was listen as a TR afternoon class. Online it said MWF afternoon, but when I registered, it is only offered as a W night class, which means that either I'll have to move small group to a T night, or I have to drop the class. It's required for my major AND a pre-req. I have class on R nights, and M are bad nights for me to try to get to Tipton. I don't want to ask the Martins (who host the group) to open their house another night of the week when the junior high group will still be meeting on Wednesdays... blah blah blah. Most likely, I'll be marching myself back to Springer's office then back to the Records Office to make yet another change. But oh well, such is life. :)

I made this list about a year ago. I kinda forgot about it, but I was reading Shea's livejournal, and was inspired to dig it up and post it.

Ok, here it is.... Things I'd Like to Do:

*plant a flower garden
*lay down in tall grass
*spend an evening with my grandpa Hennessee (but, seeing as he did when I was in 2nd grade, this one won't happen)
*travel Europe. all of it.
*swing at night
*make a quilt
*learn how to knit, then knit a pair of socks
*own a bookstore with a coffeeshop
*have my own personal study with a rolling ladder on my wall filled with books. I REALLY want one of those.
*learn to read and write in Greek
*have a campfire on the new church property
*lay in a canoe in the middle of the ocean/lake in the middle of a clear night and look at the stars
*tell Brian, Shana, and Becky that I forgive them and that I love them
*go to Africa and hold small children who have AIDS
*make a bear at Build-A-Bear
*sing loudly in public
*get all of my filmed developed
*pierce my nose
*spend more time with Grandma Pruett
*take lots of random, spontaneous trips
*lay on the dock in Michigan with Stroup again
*be in a wedding besides my own
*play the piano masterfully
*learn to play the guitar
*go to every state
*take a bubble bath by candlelight
*hear my friends sing
*ask Jill ROsentrater why she hated me
*write poetry and let people read it
*play volleyball lots
*go to Soldier Field
*see every John Wayne film ever made
*organize an MS Walk in Kokomo
* learn to crochet
*sit on my swing out back with someone special
*take walks down my road at night
*dig through old houses
*search people's attics
*play with baby piggies
*go on picnics
*watch the sun rise over the ocean
*sled in Brownsburg again
*travel in an RV
*study abroad
*pick wildflowers
*get flowers sent to me
*climb a mountain for the heck of it
*swing on a trapeez
*go to the circus
* send cards to all of my friends
*help out at an archaeology dig
*squeeze an entire tube of tootpaste in one setting
*eat the first cookie in the package
*have a jello fight
*do a backflip on a trampoline
*visit lots of historic sites
*swing dance more
*go puddle-hopping
*play the hand bells or chimes again
*visit as many art museums as possible
*ride in a hot air balloon
*take day trips all over the state
*don't live in Indiana forever
*make a substitute teacher hate me
*"kidnap" a friend and take them out for ice cream
*play frisbee in the park
*walk trails
*teach kids how to swim
*chase a tornado
*fall in love and be loved in return
*own a fat dag named Wallace
*produce a piece of art that makes people stop and think, or at least look twice
*read all the books I have, not just the first 2 chapters

I know that there are LOTS more things I've said that I want to do, but this is everything on my list. When I think of more, I'll post them, too.

Current song: If It Were Up To Me, by Rooney. They're great.

Ever feel like the rug has been pulled out from under your feet and you are falling backwards? You haven't hit the ground yet, but you are definitely falling. It's an interesting feeling, knowing that sometime very soon, your butt will be smacking the hard ground, leaving you wincing in pain. Allegoraically speaking, that's where I am. Sometimes, you learn things that send things around you a-crashing. Yep, this is me.

Things haven't been going so well lately. I take that back. Most things are going very well. I'm kicking butt in all of my classes, with the exception of ENG 180, because I don't like that class so I don't do anything. Gotta love that attitude... So, school is good. I'm making a lot of new friends and getting to know people better, which I love. My family is doing well. My car is still running. Small group is on the upswing. So, why am I down, you may ask.

The past 2 weeks have been incredibly hard. I'm not the best at self-disclosure, so I'm picky about who I tell the REAL stuff to. It's hard, because I want SO BADLY to be able to articulate EXACTLY what is going on to those around me, but I cannot. People have asked me what's going on, but it's hard to talk.

Then there have been times when I have been totally fine, just not talking, and people assume that somethng is incredibly wrong with me. Heaven forbid I not always be the one to make you laugh. Attention: it IS in my character to be quiet. I can sit and be quiet, especially when a lot is going on and I need time to think. I am capable of that. I'm not a total extrovert! I hate it that I have to explain this to people, but most don't know it. Oh well.

Back to clamming up...I guess this is happening the most with Brittany. I've been distancing myself from her, I guess mostly as a defense mechanism. The last half of this week was not so good. We didn't really talk. I think I pushed her away too much and that had to hurt. But now, I am ready to talk, and she is nowhere to be found. That makes me really mad at myself, because I know this is my doing. Keenan! BAHHH!!! I don't know how to make things right, either.

I think I need someone to sit me down and tell me that I'm not allowed to leave until I spill all. That'd probably do me some good.

Sometimes, I furstrate the snot of myself. I hate how I work at times like this.

And THEN there are other things going on... it's kind of awkward to write about it in here, accessible to everybody and their mother. But still, it's rough. It's like, you think you know something, but you're not sure whether to believe it or not. And then something will happen that makes you think, "dang! i don't know what to think!" You're not sure if you should take what you think you know as truth, because you really want to, but you know that, for where you "are" right now, it wouldn't be good for you to claim these things as your own, as truth for this circumstance. Then something else comes along and it hurts, so you don't know if you are being tested or if you are being told to let go. It's a hard, confusing walk. Sorry for any confusion. But this is where I am, without any specifics.

Blah... so, here I am. Plain and simple. I think I need to be taken back to the fire to be refined. And no, I'm not talking about becoming a Burn Victim... again... :)