The Junior High Overnighter was last night/this morning. I went as staff (since, obviously, I am not in junior high) and had a blast. My throat hurts some from all the stupid yelling and shouting Megan and I did. There were more than 170 junior highers there! That is absolutely amazing! Can you imagine having 170 barely pubescent kids running around in one building? It was incredible. There was karaoke (Megan, Brittany, Melissa, Kalee, and I started that off with "Respect by Miss Aretha. Megan is an amazing singer, so the rest of us were back up singers and dancers. The kids loved it. Later on in the night, we sang "Love Shack" and Brittany did her award-winning "I Will Always Love You." Awesome.), a room for video games (I'll be honest, I am terrible at video games. I can play Super Marion Bros. and Sonic the Hedgehog. That's it. Robey taught me how to play some 4-wheeler race game, but I got smoked by some 12 year old punk who kept laughing at me. Humbling.), lots of basketball and football action, ping pong, air hockey, organized group games, and LOTS of food. At midnight, we ate pizza. 50, to be exact. Meg and I were in charge of drinks. I poured more than 300 in just over one hour. Brittany and I left just after 1:30. I was starting to feel sick, and we had to be back at the church at 7:30 to go to a conference today. Bed was calling me.

I woke up to a phone call at 7:30 this morning. We were supposed to be at the church to ride in the van with whoever else was going to this seminar. Yeah, somehow my phone, which was serving as my alarm clock, turned off during the night so we didn't wake up. The seminars were really good. The first one I took was called "Christ-centered Self-Esteem." The presenter was really, really good. I liked him a lot. I learned lots of practical ways to boost not only my own self-esteem when it gets down, but ways to add value and significance to other people. All about the encouragement, I say. My second workshop was "How Your Concept of God Affects Your Life." I wanted to get up and leave within the first 3 minutes of it. The speaker asked what classes people had taken during the morning session, and the woman behind me said she had attended the "Relating to Teenagers" class. And the speaker said, and I quote, "Impossible. It is impossible to relate to teens." My jaw nearly dropped to the floor. I was pretty offended by that. Not only because I am still a teenager (for the next 3 months anyway! Bring on the 20's!), but because I happen to love working with teenagers and yes, there are in fact people out there, adults even, who can relate to teens. My father, for instance, and everyone who works under him. I was hot. I was the only one under the age of 25 in the room, too, which made things even more awkward. The older gentleman sitting next to me laughed when she said that and kept saying how much of an oxymoron relating to teenagers is.

How dare she accuse teenagers of being so shallow and narrow-minded and opinionated when she was doing the exact same thing she was accusing them of? I was at a loss, because to me, it seemed fairly illogical. I had a hard time paying much attention and actually listening to what she had to say for the next hour and a half. I know that I should not have let some stupid comment get in the way of my learning, but dang it! She is a licensed therapist for crying out loud! Can you imagine if you were one of her clients and you sat in on her lecture and heard her say that? I'd be ticked! Crushed, too. I mean, I am still a teenager, but the thirteen year olds that walk around here are nothing like my friends. The culture is so different. But that doesn't mean I can't relate to them. If I didn't think I could relate to them, it's as if I was saying that since I am not like them, they have no value. They are of no worth. But yet, I am still willing to drive to Tipton, a 45 minute drive, every week to teach some high school kids about Jesus. Wow. But no, it's impossible to relate to teenagers. We should all just forget about them. Surely that's healthy.

So... I just vented about that. But hey, what are online journals for? :)

On a lighter note, my roomies and I are making lots of progress on our documentary of this school year. Brittany and I watched it tonight. We laughed so much; it's very funny. I can't wait until it is done.

Also, great news!!! I HAVE A BRUISE!!! WOO HOO!!! If you don't know why this is such a big deal, know that I do not ever, EVER get bruises. There is never any physical marking of evidence to prove my many injuries. Last night, I was walking through the garage to get inside and banged my leg on something. This was before my kitty decided to ignore me. That was heartbreaking, really. I hurt my leg and my cat blows me off. :( This bruise hurts a lot, too. It's right beside my "permanent" one that I got 2 summers ago: nasty fishing accident with Stroup. Funny story. I'd tell it if this entry wasn't already huge. Maybe later.

I came to a harsh realization a little while ago: I am paying $20,000 per year to come to IWU and sleep. Yes, sleep. To me, something is wrong with that statement, but it is so true. I have gotten progressively sicker as the week has gone on (not to the point where I am convinced I am lying on death's doorstep or anything. At least not yet. But I am developing a nice cold. And I feel like death in the mornings.) and all I want to do is sleep. I'd give anything just to be able to lay in my bed all day long, wasting the day away until I felt better. Sadly, I have not been able to do this. Nor will I be able to, most likely.

I am lacking all motivation to do anything academic. It's almost funny how much I suddenly loathe going to classes. I take that back, I really like 2 of them, 3 if you count my night class that no longer meets. It's the rest that make me want to throw in the towel. I don't know why, either. I think, pretty much, that I am being a baby. My World Lit class, for example... It's an ok class. It really is. I love reading. I am not a fan of being forced to read excerpts against my will, but I really do like to sit down and read ("Nerd alert!" you may shout.). But for this class, I can not make myself open the stupid text book and read bits and pieces ranging from The Aeneid to Confessions by Augustine to Baghavid Gita, which, I believe is some Buddhist work. I don't remember. Obviously I didn't read that one very closely. :) They are all classic works of literature and I'm glad I am getting the chance to read them, but I'd much, MUCH rather read them on my own. I read a lot of outside stuff last year and I loved that. Why do I hate it so much when I am forced to? Is it normal for college students to experience this? Surely not. Am I weird?

Basically, I think it boils down to the fact that I do not enjoy being told what to do. I much rather do things my own way at my own pace, by myself (I also hate group work. Usually I end up getting stuck doing all the work. Maybe I'd like working in groups more if my pratners weren't always such slackers.). I am too independent: ask my parents. :) Sure, offer me suggestions about what to do, but please, for your sake, do not make me hate you by commanding me to do things or watching over my shoulder to make sure things are done the "right" way. This makes me sound like a huge jerk, but, well... this is me? I'm a lot like my dad in this. We are both hard-headed. I don't need a helmet. :) But it's not like I reject all advice or help from people. I don't go against the flow just for the sake of it. That's ridiculous to me. Rebel without a cause? No, not really. I just like to do my own thing, and if anybody wants to join me, great! But I'm not upset if my opinion (which I make known) isn't the most popular. I'd like to say that I do not care what people think, and for the most part that is true. But, I really do not know a single individual who can honestly say that. We all care what people think about us. Nobody wants to be gossipped about. We all have reputations, good bad or indifferent. Mine is pretty good, and I'd like to keep it that way. I'm ok if people do not like me, their opinion isn't THAT important, but I'd like to think that the majority of the people around me do not hate my presence. That'd really stink.

I wish I would have brought my results from the tests we took last year in my psych class. They say pretty much the exact same thing I just wrote, but having documentation is always nice. next time I go home, I'll have to remember to get them. I think I have results from the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator (I'm an ENFP) and the 16 PF. And some College Student Inventory thing and a Spiritual Well-Being Test, but those didn't say much except that I am making the most of my college experience (this was last year, keep in mind) and that my relationship with God is extremely healthy and sustaining.

Yawn. In 3 hours, I will be surrounded by around 100 junior highers, running around and screaming. All night long. Woo hoo for Junior High Overnighters. They are great, but they REALLY take it out of you. And Saturday, Brittany and I are going to some mental health seminar. Strong Families, Healthy Marriages and ________ Communities. I don't remember the adjective. I am going to learn how to better lead my group and help girls find their self-esteem in Christ. Brittany is going to "Heal the Father Wound." This should be good. I've heard it is. I'll post about that afterward. Until then, Namaste!

"If you have been waiting, and waiting, and waiting for that special person to come along and fill your life with love, then take advantage of today's energy. This promises a heady passion not usually available to all and sundry. So go for the kill. Make your move on someone you find particularly attractive, and you could be deeply involved by the end of the evening."

So... that's my love horoscope for the day. I'm amazed at people who actually read and believe these stupid things. It's crazy to think that 1/12 of all the people in the world will have the same thing happen to them one any given day. Sure, that's believable...not! And now, since the Milky Way is devouring Sagitarius... what will those who have the "misfortune" of being born during that sign do? It will forever be known as The Sign Formerly Known as Sagitarius.

Enough about horoscopes.

Kalee keeps telling me to write more about her. I guess I can tell a story from our childhood. Her suggestion, of course. Ok, we used to have one of those bouncing horse things. You know, they were attached to a metal base with springs and you sat on it and bounced around. They were fun. Kalee always hogged it. But, being the firstborn, that is her duty and her right: to be the cool toy hog. Sniff. Well, I remember once that she refused to let me get on it, no matter how many times I asked. I kept trying to pull her off of it. Keep in mind, we were probably 2 and 3. Very young, we still lived in Ohio. She was being so mean to me! All I wanted to do was have my turn on the stupid horse thing! So, the next thing I knew, I was knawing on her. On the back. Hard. Of course, there's not much to bite on your back, so she had a nice bruise. Who bites someone else on the back? I don't know, but hey, I was 2! I don't remember if I got in much trouble. But she cried, so I'm sure I did. What a wuss. I wasn't much of a biter as a kid; this was an exception. I was just so mad! And, as the angry two year old that I was, it just happened. What can I say? To this day, whenever I see one of those horse things, I get the urge to bite something, so I grind my teeth. Ok, ok, that's not true. The rest of the story is, though.

On that note, I am going to dinner. :)

My night class met for the last time last night. I am actually a little disappointed in that. I really, really liked that class. It's a shame it only lasted for 3 weeks. We ate at Lo-Y-Lo's, which was fun. Chinese food eaten the Chinese way: chopsticks. No silverware allowed. And we had to learn the art of shoveling rice into our mouths. Gross to watch, fun to do. A few of us started talking about movies and, of course, the topic came to Lord of the Rings. I ended up getting Melissa, Brittany, and I invited to go see the third one on opening night in Indy with this guy named Eric and a few of his friends, complete with costumes. I haven't told Smell this yet, so, Smell, you're invited if we decide to go. :) We'll see.

Laughter was abundant in our room last night. Jenn borrowed a friend's video camera... wow. LOTS of mad taping going on in here, plus a few music videos and brief dancing clips. I caught Jenn mooning a few girls, too. And today I taped Brittany waking up, when she called her alarm clock "Satan."

Small group went well tonight. A few of the kids have birthdays coming up soon (as in tomorrow), so I made cupcakes. We are almost finished with the series we have been working on all summer. Finally! I love leading that group. It's worth the 40 minute drive each way. Before we begin the actual lesson, I've been asking them the questions we have been talking about in my theology class and they really seem to like talking about those things. Some of it is pretty heady, but they comprehend most of it. I like hearing how they respond to the questions, and how they use each other's answers as building blocks to add new thoughts until they arrive at a truth. I feel like I am actually making a difference, which is one of the greatest feelings ever. Yea!! I love my small group. :)

Kalee told me I should write another blog about us. Maybe next time.

I walked out the door of my dorm today at 2:32, on my way to meet Janeen for our Monday Frappé/Spanish study session, and I realized I was singing. Out loud. Lots. Of course, this caught me off guard, as I did not know I was doing it. I probably should not have been all that suprised, b/c I am in a constant state of singing of humming some random song. One day last year, I made a running list of all the songs I sang throughout the day... yeah, there were 17 on there! Seventeen! In one day! And they ranged from "Beautiful" by Miss Christina Aguilera to "Frankenstein" by none other than Alice Cooper. Why was I singing an old Alice Cooper song? I have no idea. Anyhoo, I found myself singing outside today. Luckily no one was around. I guess it only embarrasses me slightly. I caught myself singing in class a few times last year, but not nearly as loudly as I could have been. Singing in class always results in strange looks from those unfortunate souls sitting in the same general area. I wish someone, besides me, would sing in one of my classes. It'd definitely brighten my day. Unless of course, that person is about as tone deaf as my roommate... Ha ha ha. Winner of the "Not-So-Talented Show" for her singing abilities. Yeah. That's my roommate!

This year, I have definitely toned down my constant singing. Probably much to the delight of my dorm room companions, but they never really said much when I would let it out. Chris calls me Pav. That makes me laugh.

Just another Manic Monday. Actually, I'm listening to "Zombie" by the Cranberries. Gotta love that song.

Another weekend has come and gone. It went by too quickly, but it was good.

Friday was an adventure. Brittany and I tried, and failed, to go to Purdue to visit Smellion. It was raining WAY too much... the roads were flooded and my car wasn't about to make it through all the water. We drove around Russiaville, yes Russiaville, for close to 1/2 hour just trying to get home. Not fun! I cussed for the first time since 8th grade. Brittany, who was on the phone with Melissa, heard me. So did Mel.

I ended up going home, sadly, on Friday, and watched a movie with my dad (not so sad. I was asleep by 11 and woke up at 12 on Saturday!). I finally made it to Mel's apartment Saturday afternoon. It was so great to spend some time with her. I just love that girl.

Sunday... eh... no big thrill. I went to YWAV for the first time in a month. I'll just say that something as simple as a haircut can make a person so much more attractive than before. Enough said. :) Brittany told me I looked a few more times than necessary. Sue me!