Man, I just love 80s music. Most of my friends don't share my passion for this stuff, but some do. That's actually the starting point of my friendship with Brittany, which is kind of a funny beginning, but it's true. I don't remember where we were, but it was in 11th grade (We had been acquaintances before this time, but not very good friends at all. In 8th grade, my friends and I made fun of her...what can I say, I was an 8th grade jerk in the "popular" crowd. But she DID have a perm...mwahaha.). ANYHOO, a bunch of us were sitting around and talking about music, and she mentioned that she loved Journey. My ears perked up and my eyes widened. I'm quite sure my jaw dropped with a thud on the floor. Journey is my favorite band form the 80s! So, we hit it right off after that.

People say that 80s music is stupid, but I say that THEY are the stupid ones. There are TONS of good songs, let alone millions of reasons to love the 80s, when extravagance ran rampant. My senior year of high school, the kids that I ate lunch with and I compiled the mother of all random lists: Reasons to Love the 1980s. It is awesome, more than 3 pages long, front and back, with 3 columns on each page. It's way too long to include in this post, but if anybody wants to read it, just ask. You read this and I promise, any doubts or problems you might have had with this decade will be fully dimished. And you will look at your former days that were full of disbelief and laugh. *sigh*

Ah, the days of my youth. Not that I remember much of it, as I was born in early '84. But still! I definitely had the big bangs and wore banana clips like nobody's business. My mom had gone to cosmetology school and was always up to date on hot hair trends. I was a cool kid. Definitely a product of the 80s. And I say that with pride.

I can't say that I miss all the clothing, because that'd be a lie. Some stuff, though, was great and I'd like to see it make a hardcore comeback. For instance, who wouldn't want to wear a neon spandex leotard and tights with flourescent orange leg warmers while dancing around in your living room? I know I would! No, but seriously, it wasn't ALL bad.

My advice to all of you would be to pick up a good 80s CD and listen to it this weekend. I'd recommend anything by Journey (their greatest hits CD is great!). For what is quite possibly the best album of the 80s, try The Joshua Tree by U2. It's classic. Trust me on this one. Or you could always go for a compilation mix. If you opt for this, make sure it has lot of variety. I'm listening to "Everything 80s" from the TimeLife Collection. It's a real treasure.

Man, I just love 80s music. Most of my friends don't share my passion for this stuff, but some do. That's actually the starting point of my friendship with Brittany, which is kind of a funny beginning, but it's true. I don't remember where we were, but it was in 11th grade (We had been acquaintances before this time, but not very good friends at all. In 8th grade, my friends and I made fun of her...what can I say, I was an 8th grade jerk in the "popular" crowd. But she DID have a perm...mwahaha.). ANYHOO, a bunch of us were sitting around and talking about music, and she mentioned that she loved Journey. My ears perked up and my eyes widened. I'm quite sure my jaw dropped with a thud on the floor. Journey is my favorite band form the 80s! So, we hit it right off after that.

People say that 80s music is stupid, but I say that THEY are the stupid ones. There are TONS of good songs, let alone millions of reasons to love the 80s, when extravagance ran rampant. My senior year of high school, the kids that I ate lunch with and I compiled the mother of all random lists: Reasons to Love the 1980s. It is awesome, more than 3 pages long, front and back, with 3 columns on each page. It's way too long to include in this post, but if anybody wants to read it, just ask. You read this and I promise, any doubts or problems you might have had with this decade will be fully dimished. And you will look at your former days that were full of disbelief and laugh. *sigh*

Ah, the days of my youth. Not that I remember much of it, as I was born in early '84. But still! I definitely had the big bangs and wore banana clips like nobody's business. My mom had gone to cosmetology school and was always up to date on hot hair trends. I was a cool kid. Definitely a product of the 80s. And I say that with pride.

I can't say that I miss all the clothing, because that'd be a lie. Some stuff, though, was great and I'd like to see it make a hardcore comeback. For instance, who wouldn't want to wear a neon spandex leotard and tights with flourescent orange leg warmers while dancing around in your living room? I know I would! No, but seriously, it wasn't ALL bad.

My advice to all of you would be to pick up a good 80s CD and listen to it this weekend. I'd recommend anything by Journey (their greatest hits CD is great!). For what is quite possibly the best album of the 80s, try The Joshua Tree by U2. It's classic. Trust me on this one. Or you could always go for a compilation mix. If you opt for this, make sure it has lot of variety. I'm listening to "Everything 80s" from the TimeLife Collection. It's a real treasure.

If anybody wants to sing me a song, this one will work for now. :)

Dear Friend, what's on your mind
You don’t laugh the way you used to
But I've noticed how you cry
Dear friend, I feel so helpless
I see you sit in silence
As you face new pain each day
I feel there’s nothing I can do
I know you don’t feel pretty
Even though you are
But it wasn’t your beauty
That found room in my heart

Dear friend, you are so precious Dear Friend

Dear friend, I'm here for you
I know that you don’t talk too much
But we can share this day anew
Dear Friend, please don’t feel like you're alone
There is someone who is praying
Praying for your peace of mind
Hoping joy is what you'll find
I know you don’t feel weak
Even though you are
But it wasn’t your strength
That found room in my heart
Dear friend, you are so precious, Dear Friend

I hope I don't come across as depressed and bitter at the world, because I most definitely am not. This song just seems to fit what I've been feeling lately. Well, for the most part. The whole self-esteem thing in the first verse isn't as pertinent, but still...

Sorry to everyone who feels as if I have been blowing them off or purposefully distancing myself. You're not far from the truth. I guess I just can't express what's going on. I'm trying, though, so please be patient, and know that I WILL talk about all of this sometime soon. I just need some time. Thanks, guys. I love you all!!

Youthquake = awesome. Ryan Edwards (from Nashville this summer. I didn't go, but everybody said he was just amazing) was the speaker. It was good to finally get to meet him. Anyhoo... the sessions were really good and I got to talk to people who I haven't seen in a while, plus I met some newer kids, which is always great.

Saturday afternoon, I had a breakdown/breakthrough. Ryan talked exactly about some stuff I have been struggling with over the past few months. It was good, b/c I felt like he was talking right to me, only bad because I didn't know how to respond because I have no "dream." We were supposed to turn to the person next to us and share these "dreams" with them. I looked at Hannah with tears in my eyes. She told me hers athen asked me mine. I couldn't reply. I just stood there and started crying. I think I must have needed to cry or something, because I cried harder in those next 10 to 15 minutes than I have all year. It was intense. And scary. I was a mess, bawling my eyes out, almost literally, with Mom, Kalee, Hannah, and Brittany surrounding me. They sais some good stuff, but I don't know if that's what I needed or wanted to hear. But oh well. Jenny Bogue offered some words of wisdom that really helped. Here's the synopsis of my life: Basically, I have no idea what is going on. I don't know anything about anything. And I'm learning (with Jen's help) that that is precisely where God wants me to be, at least for now. Because, like He said in 2 Cor. 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." If I knoew what I was supposed to do, knowing me, I'd run with it and then end up screwing things up pretty badly. Dang. Thanks for the insight, Jen! You are wonderful!

Another thing Ryan spoke about was discontentment, and how discontentment is totally ok. In fact, we were created to be discontent. I was like, WHOA! I have never heard that before. Yeah, we are supposed to keep from becoming complacent in our lives, but to be discontent? My worldview grew a little that day. He is so right. I mean, I look around and think, is this it? Is this all there is? Not that what is around me is bad, by any means. Don't get me wrong, I love it at IWU and most of my friends are awesome. I like my life, for the most part. But I have been feeling this discontment for a while now, but I was too afraid to voice it. I didn't know if I was "allowed" to. It almost seems "unholy" (for lack of a better word) to be unhappy. And not unhappy as in sad, but unhappy as in wanting more. And then what Paul said about being "content in all circumstances," well, that is hard to reconcile. But I guess it's the same type of thing as the difference between happiness and joy. I have joy. I'm quite certain that most people reading this won't have any idea what the heck I am talking about, but that's ok. I know what changed in my heart this weekend, and someday I will be able to articulate that better. I hope.

I realized that I AM feeling pretty discontent about some things now. I am tired of the routines. I'm tired of doing the same things day in and day out. I'm tired of people thinking they know me. I'm tired of the games. I'm tired of the masks people wear. I'm tired of the expectations. I'm tired of being afraid of 2 specific confrontations. I'm tired of a few certain people. I'm tired of dealing with other people's issues while they can't seem to respect mine. I'm tired of feeling trapped. I'm tired of settling for second best when I know I deserve better and can make it happen. I'm tired of not doing my best. Ouch, that one hurts.

Ok, now that I sound like a depressed and unhappy colege sophomore...

Kathy and John are engaged, as of yesterday. Yay! My first friend from high school to tie the knot. Well, next summer. I heard so many stories about how people got engaged this weekend, too. I think I listened to 4 or 5. That may not seem like a lit, but if you think about it, how many of your friends get engaged everyday? Not many. And Brittany and I walked downstairs on the way to dinner just in time to hera a girl tell her friends for the first time that she got engaged 2 hours before. So chalk that one up there, too. In all reality, we were two of the first ones to find out, too, right?

Youthquake = awesome. Ryan Edwards (from Nashville this summer. I didn't go, but everybody said he was just amazing) was the speaker. It was good to finally get to meet him. Anyhoo... the sessions were really good and I got to